I'm back... with some sad news.

well i am back Ive been away for a while..

let me tell you what happened. well since we have been trying to get pregnant since January something amazing happened.... i got a positive pregnancy test after many negative ones!!!! yay right. well i noticed some sharp pains in my lower right side a week before i found out i was pregnant and a week after finding out i was pregnant  i had some really light spotting... the next day the bleeding was heavier and darker. i went to the Dr to make sure everything was OK. it wasn't. the doctor did a sono and couldn't see anything. i was having a miscarriage! the doctor told me i had three options. 1. get a second opinion. (No) 2. go home and wait it out. 3. go to the hospital and have a D&C. i decided to go home. i didnt want to be in a hospital so we decided to go home. the pain i was in emotionally and physically wasnt worth it. it was painful yes but the emotional pain made it a million times worse. after 9 months of trying to have it taken away yes it was hard and i didnt want to go through it so we decided to go to the hospital and have the surgery.

its been two weeks since all this happened. its still hard to think about but its time for me to move on and prepare myself mentally to try again. i feel like i need to jus clear my mind and realize that things get better.
my husband helped me get over it he stayed with me the entire week that i didnt want to eat or get out of bed he helped me heal by buying me a little white teddy bear that we are going to use to represent the baby we lost. were excited to move forward and to start trying again.
some people may think that some thing like this shouldnt be something hard to get over but when you have been through it you know what its like you know how hard it is. its a life, you got excited about it, you were ready to see it grow, you were ready for the baby. that little life got taken away from you and it isnt coming back. things do get better...but it will be hard.